Now, I understand that, thusfar, this blog entry must not only be offensive to the proespective dinosaur-glue producer, but to every single individual who regularly reads his blog. In fact, the chances that he will comply with his promise to “backlink” me on his site are next to none. However, I just googled the “Bible,” and a bunch of sites came up talking about “honesty” and “keeping a promise,” and “Shellfish is an abomination!” Since this is not pornography, but rather, a satirical spin on the extremes that exist within our society, I have faith that this future pastor will backlink my blog, no matter how painful it may be to read for anyone who accesses my blog from said link. In closing, here are a few important statistics:

-Chances of this guy actually reading this far into the blog: 3%

-Chances of anyone who comes here through the backlink will, after vomiting and experiencing EXTREME diarrhea, recommend the site, let alone re-visit it: 0.05%

-Chances that the wrath of God will fall upon me for my general disdain and lack of understanding of religion: 100% for Catholics, 0% for Athiests and [some percentage between 0 and 100...and stop asking me, will ya? Seriously, leave me alone or I will call the Police] for Agnostics.