“I’m very proud of my husband,” said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “It’s absurd, though, to think of Bill’s actions as a case of male egoism usurping a female’s authority. He trusts me; I mean, sometimes he lets me answer the phone without asking AND go to the bathroom by myself,” she added.

Introducing new addition to Icanhazcheeseburger.fag

SHOCK! BLOG.FAG!!!

moar funny pictures

Conclusion:

…So, I propose that all you non-cracked.com/video/picture bloggers out there who have something at the very least mildly amusing to say, I hereby extend my hideiously deformed hand (which also was horribly burned in a fire and embedded with glass in a near-fatal car accident) and ask of you your friendship…as well as partnership in an alliance the world has NEVER SEEN!!! I intend to unite comedy bloggers such as yourselves under one flag; to create a democratic nation of bloggers whose sole purpose is to produce quality comedy in the face of mindless photoshopped images of cats and dick jokes. Here are but a few members of this new project, a project I hereby refer to as “HUMOR-BLOG.COM‘!!!…darnit, that’s already a website I just found out about after I wrote this article. I guess “PROJECT JULIO!” will do for now…:

www.Krapsody.com: web-blog created by a magical African American who goes only by the pseudonym “Static.” It is about, well, topics of a politically incorrect nature (such as Russian prostitutes and the illegal trade of Yak’s milk) which oddly enough do not involve (as far as we know) magical African Americans such as Shak, Michael Jordan and Bill Clinton.

http://angryclown.blogspot.com/: web-blog created by the spawn of Satan, Damian. Unfortunatley, Satan isn’t exactly a one-woman outcast angel of death. Suffice to say, being the “son of Satan” is similar to having “at least one homoerotic experience” or “having unprotected sex with an underaged asian hooker named “Charleen…san.” Having his father’s temper and his mother’s desire to have sex with Satan, Damian makes angry tyrades about important issues such as “cellular phone kiosks that you see in the mall,” and “that guy at work who you plan to rob next week after he gets off of work because he’s such a total DICKFACE I HOPE HE DIES!!!!!” Like I said, he’s a bit angry… 

Introductory paragraph thing where I “introduce” you to a potentially offensive, racist tyrade: 

The internet is a big BIG world, or, as some (e.g. Sen. Ted Stevens; no one else) would say, “a series of tubes!!!,” consisting of millions of people who are only a click away. Granted, most of these people are under the age of 18, and half of the other half that is over 18 consists of closet-homosexual internet gamers who live in the basement of their parent’s garage (which is also itself a basement) and pretend to be women in order to entrap heterosexual virgins (on sites such as match.com; eharmony.com; heterovirgin.com) who are so desperate for sex that they may be willing to forego their sexuality for one anonymous night with an overweight man who promises to be gentle but never calls even though he said he would and DAMN YOU ROBBY YOU BROKE MY HEART AND STOLE MY ANAL VIRGINITY!!!…but I digress.

Conclusion: (wait…didn’t I do this part already in a sort-of “here is the ending now let us see the process of how we got here, ooooooh I get it now?” How about a video of Ted Stevens yelling “NO!” at our democratic political system?!)