“HoBlogging” (i.e. Hobo Blogging) and “Twittering Without a Nest”

Julio — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:11:00 +0000

Say goodbye to Youtube, Facebook and even Google because there is a new phenomenon taking the internet by storm: HoBlogging (i.e. hobo blogging). Yes, this is no typo; hobloggers do exist. Remember the hobo that always sits near a pile of garbage between Taco Bell and McDonalds? He has a blog. The naked Mexican whose best friend is a shopping cart filled with empty boxes of cigarettes? He’s got a blog too. It appears that even homeless people, the absolute lowest class in society, cannot abstain from writing about the mundane aspects of everyday life.

Most Recent Post: Interview with the GIANT SHIT I took on 7th ave. near FootLocker

What are they writing about? The best place in the city to grab a hamburger…half-eaten? The loudest nightclub…that you can hear from the alleyway? The nuances of local produce…found in a dumpster as compared to canned produce…found on the ground near the dumpster? Although little is known about the origins of HoBlogging, one can surmise that it began with the mystical union of a hobo, a computer and frequent complaints by library patrons regardeing a pungent odor…an odor itself ceated by the mustical union of urine, human fecal matter and used tampons (classic signs of a hobo blogger, or HoBlogger).

Artist’s rendering of a hobo-compatable computer. Powered by spare change.

This phenomenon first caught my attention during one of my frequent visits to lifelong rival NPR. The story (click here) told of the online adventures of Eric Sheptock (visit blog here), a part-time janitor and full-time hobo. He started a blog using the hobo-friendly facilities available in the Washington D.C. (i.e., hobo capital of the U.S., i.e. juxtoposition of imaginary U.S. wealth/freedom and real U.S. poverty/class warefare.). His blog focuses on educating the house-living home-ful public about very true and very disturbing facts about homelessness. Since I haven’t actually read it, however, I prefer to imagine that it provides helpful tips on topics such as: sign-drafting and design; loitering safety; and how to bathe in a public restroom.

“I don’t cleam, I’m not cleaM“

Look, hobos. Since you’re capable of blogging I am sure that you’re probably reading this (certainly no one with a life would!). I don’t hate the homeless. I feel your pain. I, too, know what it is like to wake up every morning in a different place covered with my own bodily fluids (LSD is a crazy drug!). I am forced to ask total strangers for change on a daily basis (though us house’d folk call them “tips”). I even dig through dumpsters and garbage cans for food (no witty remark this time…I just love eating garbage!). You may not like the fact that I am making light of your plight (that rhymes!), and it may be my one-way ticket to eternal damnation (forced to read hoblogs for ALL ETERNITY!), but if you can’t find humor in everything, anything can end up making you feel hopeless (deep man…real deep).

Oh, and did I mention they produce their very own hobo “tweets”, AKA “Tweets without Nests”? Below is a list of my favorite hobo-authored twitter activity (*note: not all tweets are by the same HoBlogger):

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fist time eva using twitter…anybodey have spare change?

6:34 PM April 7th from the web

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found a half-full (or half-empty, depending on how you look at it) bottle of Coca Cola. Turns out it was filled with piss…MY piss.

7:14 AM April 7th from the web

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got a flat shopping-cart-tire today. Tride to steel new 1 from BestBuy but police sed noes.

11:45 AM March 12th from the new cardboard computer

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Banker LFW (Looking for Work). Former employers: Enron, AIG, Lehman Bros. N33d $$$ to keep Yacht.

3:30 PM March 6th from my Yacht

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find another half-full bottle of Coca Cola. Also filled with piss…probly same bottle as b4 =(

8:14 AM April 7th from the web

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Above: Photo of Eric Sheptock, first of what we hope to be many “HoBloggers.” If you or anyone else are in the D.C. area and would like to provide him with assistance and/or use him in a satirical documentary on the financial disparities that exist in the USA, please e-mail him at ericsheptock@yahoo.com

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“HoBlogging” (i.e. Hobo Blogging) and “Twittering Without a Nest”