Early Life and Political Career

First Presidential Campaign and Birth, 1944

Second Presidential Campaign, 2008

“FINISH HIM!” or, “Enter the Obama”

Personal Life

Family

Mmm…tastes like my foot!

On September 30, 2009, the US Senate, which is currently/supposedly “controlled” by the Democratic party, “voted against a proposal to put a government administered ‘public option’ in the health reform bill that will come out of the Senate Finance Committee” (www.intershame.com). For those too lazy to follow the link, here are the names of 5 Senators who betrayed the Democratic party, accompanied with links from the “contact me” section of their official websites: Max Baucus (D-Mont), Kent Conrad (D-ND), Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark), Bill Nelson (D-Fla) and Tom Carper (D-Del).

Update: The ASS Party

According to NPR, “Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid began private meetings Wednesday with fellow Democrats and the White House to merge his chamber’s two health care overhaul bills into a single plan that could win a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.” This means that, despite Baucus’s and other Democrats’ epic backstabbing, Majority Leader Harry Reid rode (or flew, rather) in on his magic dragon and busted a cap into the ass of his party, herein known as the “Ass Party.”

But the battle ain’t over yet, nor has the obese woman screeched. We still need to make sure the 5 Democrats mentioned earlier make the filibusterer-proof majority a reality and not just a novel notion. Myself a hobo and avid doodoo sculpter, I am somewhat of a skeptic of their success. But homeless or not, I will stand by my party…until they fail, until which I’ll run as a 3-rd party candidate under my very own just-now-created “Hobo Party,” the requirements of which require the lack of permanent housing, no more than 2 sets of clothing or at least 3 scars acquired during scuffles over discarded food (most Americans now qualify).

Everyone, including my entire family, thinks that I'm dead...ROFL!

“Sen. Ted Kennedy (D) died Tuesday of brain cancer” is something that a liberal newspaper, website or radio station might have you believe. Popular website “Dead or Alive,” which keeps track of famous deaths, has, through no fault of its own, fallen for this liberal rouse and listed Ted Kennedy as deceased. The objective of this post is to convince you, the reader, that Sen. Ted Kennedy is not only alive and well, but also behind the Socialist conspiracy of the Obama administration and government run euthanasia.

Exhibit A: Where is the Original Death Cirtificate?

Exhibit B: Ted Kennedy is not a Citizen of the Ghost-United States of America (GUSA)

Exhibit C: If Ted Kennedy is a member of the GUSA Senate, doesn’t that mean he’s dead?

Washington, D.C. - The U.S. Senate unanimously approved a non-binding resolution that officially apologized to black people, on behalf of white people, for the injustices of slavery, Jim Crow and BET. Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas also voted for the measure, but only after being ensured that it would not include reparations for slavery. “We don’t know whether Jesus Christ did or did not ride a dinosaur” said the Kansasian Senator, “but what we do know, other than the FACT that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, is that if we were to give reparations for black slavery, so would the UK, France, Spain, Portugal, Germany and every other predominately white, European nation between the years 1600 – 1865.”

Yup...that about sums things up. You can probably stop reading now...

A “day in the life” of Ann Coulter…scary.

Ann Coulter. Who or what is Ann Coulter, other than the first thing that comes to mind when you think of 9/11, dead babies and Nazis simultaneously? As a “Conservative” and “columnist“, Coulter continues to falsely depict ALL Republicans as angry, insane and illogical beings who use fear mongering, insults and baseless conspiracy theories to support their beliefs instead of providing reliable evidence (of which there is usually none). I understand that this may a lot of information to take in, so in the text below, I have translated this well thought out and properly cited analysis into a baseless, emotionally charged and metaphorical rant for you, my “Thinking Impaired” readers (i.e., average Americans).

No additional joke required; this is an actual book devoted to hating Ann Coulter…Awesome!

Washington D.C., USA - Ann Coulter’s vagina. That’s about the worst thing anyone could possibly imagine. Logically, then, 9/11, dead babies and Nazi’s should be at least somewhat related to Ann Coulter’s vagina, but could they be fundamentally linked? To the surprise of many, a recent gyneclolgical study has found that 9/11, dead babies, Nazis not only exist WITHIN Ann Coulter’s vagina, but may have in fact been CREATED there!

Scientists became interested in the “UnIntelligent Design” theory regarding the creation of 9/11, Nazis and dead babies after Ann Coulter submitted a series of deliberately absurd, offensive and callous contributions to American political debate.

Particularly intriguing was Coulter’s attack on widows of those killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, “I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much,” said Coulter, “How do we know their husbands werne’t planning to divorce these harpies?”

9/11 through the eyes of Ann Coulter

“The truth is, we don’t know,” said Head Researcher Gilbert Flagram, “but the catch 22 is that the husbands in question are dead, thereby impossible to interview. Though possible, there is not a single shred of evidence nor absolutely any reason whatsoever to believe that their marriages were anything less than healthy.” Flagram explained that to create such a random and baseless rumor about widows of the single most deadly terrorist act in U.S. history requires more than huge BALLS (which are themselves rumored to also exist within Coulter’s vagina). That’s when researches decided to test the theory of whether in fact “evil incarnate” was itself birthed through the wretched vaginal walls of Ann Coulter.



Actual “Vortex-of-Pure-Evil” discovered in the Nether-regions of Ann Coulter